The definitions of love?

Love. 

This is an ordinary yet interesting topic to talk about, isn't it?

Well, one of the reason of why I want to talk about this matter all of sudden is actually because I just watch a video of international speech contest that was held in Chinese. 

The speaker was a high school girl who's willing to be a lawyer when she grow up. An amazing kid with brilliant mind, even though she's only 16 at that time. 

This is what she looks like. 

She delivered this amazing speech about discovering ourselves and how she was having difficulties earlier in her life when she tried to discover about who she was, and what career should she pursue. 

Long story short, she found her career plan that is most suitable for her now, which is a lawyer. And to be honest, that was really mesmerizing considering her very-very young age. 

Anyway, at the end of her speech, the jury was bombarding her with questions and she could answer each one of them well. A little too well, in fact.

There is this question about her opinion about young people's love and this is what makes me think about love for pretty long time. 

She said that all of the young people that's having a boyfriend or girlfriend in their young age (or as she referred, puppy love.), is seeking recognitions from outside themselves. Being in love is another way of them to be recognized by another people that doesn't require intellectual capability. 

You know, you don't have to be smart for your boyfriend to love you.

And this is one of the reason of why they are doing what they are doing. 

I have to say that I kinda agree with her in this case, because, well. It is true, I think. 

While for me (and her too, apparently), that is not my way to be in love with someone just because I crave for attention. You know, romantic love that's based upon such intention and just instantly snatched...

It's not gonna work out, in most scenarios.

That is why, for people like me, her, or another people that's wanting to find that really true someone, will save it for the best. We will not give our love that easily to someone we just met.

Because, from another aspect, you could see love as a lifetime responsibility when you are trusted to keep it lasts. To only love that one person you already chose and choose you too.

And when your intention's not to make it lasts, then we're gonna know that you have already fail in understanding the real definition of love.

Anyway, this is the definitions of love that I found on the internet.

Kurt Vonnegut, who was in some ways an extremist about love but also had a healthy dose of irreverence about it, in The Sirens of Titan:

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

Anaïs Nin, whose wisdom on love knew no bounds, in A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller, 1932-1953:

What is love but acceptance of the other, whatever he is.

Stendhal in his fantastic 1822 treatise on love:

Love is like a fever which comes and goes quite independently of the will. … there are no age limits for love.

C. S. Lewis, who was a very wise man, in The Four Loves:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Lemony Snicket in Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid:

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Susan Sontag, whose illustrated insights on love were among last year’s most read and shared articles, in As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980:

Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love.

Charles Bukowski, who also famously deemed love “a dog from hell,” in this archival video interview:

Love is kind of like when you see a fog in the morning, when you wake up before the sun comes out. It’s just a little while, and then it burns away… Love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality.

Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.

( source : here.  )

Well, there are so many beautiful definition of love that we could search and think about for a little while, apparently. 

I think, in conclusion, we have to live with love everyday.

Love our parents. family. friends. and another people.

Be compassionate and have empathy for others is one way to prove that you are a creature full of love. 

We have to wrap ourselves up with love every single day.

But as for romantic love, there is a slightly different story.

I think we can't just give the love away easily to everyone. Even the kindest people in the world. 

We have to think about it very well. Consider the good and bad part about the person, and again, consider if we could accept each other well.

Because this is a matter of a lifetime, while we are expected to keep it last until both of us die. 

Bunch of TEDx talks!

So excited this morning!

Wanna share several TEDx videos I've been watching for the past several days. Constantly. 

(Even my youtube recommendation's filled with TEDx videos now haha.)

For any of you who don't know TEDx already, I will try to explain it to you.

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Well.. actually. Just read it for yourself here, the entire A to Z about TEDx.  (This page will be full of TED's definitions if I copy-paste those wikipedia article here, right.)

Basically, TEDx is an independent program under Sapling foundation with the slogan of "Ideas worth spreading". It consists different speakers. Brilliant speeches and orators are spreading wonderfully weird here. 

There are so many brilliant speeches I've been watched that is so inspiring and wonderful. 

You know, some speeches are based on years on researches, years of experiences, years of training, etc. 

All of that knowledge that they've been doing, that took them literally years to get, we could get it instantly through 5-20 minutes of speeches. 

Isn't that amazing?

Like, hell. We could get any information that we wanna get so easily right now, apparently. 

No need to take doctoral programs in Harvard when we wanna know the outcome of the student's research. 

Ah, what a wonderful world to life with such heavenly access to almost everything and anything nowadays.

Anyway. 

Here are some of the TED talk I've been watching and has inspired me the most.

I hope they could inspire you too.

1. Draw your future, take control of your life. 

This magnificent speech was brought to you by Patti Dobrowolski.

She convinced you the power of a dream in a whole different perspective. 

Well, at least for me. 

She told us to have the courage to think about the situations that we would want to get and then pouring it into a drawing.

Because apparently, our brain are designed to responded better to informations that we got from pictures.

This is why drawing out our dream is really important for us in order to actually making it to the realization of our dream. 

She gave us some kind of drawing patterns consist in our current conditions and the situations that we would wanna get in periods of time.

This is the pattern.

You have to write your own dream, your own goals, and then fills out the big 3 steps that you have to follow through in order to realize it.

And this is the video. 

Watch it. it will be worth it. 

2. Your Body Languange Change Who You Are. 

Another magnificent. Wonderful. Funny. Interesting speech from Amy Cuddy. 

(I'm not the only one who think of that, because she got millions of viewers in youtube.)

This speech's core is basically about her research in Harvard university that shows that when we are faking our body languange to be somewhat powerful and dominance, we could actually feel powerful. 

Yes, even if at first we were faking it, we will eventually become it. 

"Fake it until you become it." is one of the catchphrase in this speech. 

Interestingly, this catchphrase is related to not only the powerful and dominance attitude, but could be apply to basically all the good things we wanna do imply to ourselves. 

Self-confidence. 

Good orator/good speakers.

Even good leaders. 

We could actually make it, even if, at first, we were just faking it. 

Ah. This speech is so good I could never explain it beautifully enough for you guys, you have to watch it for yourselves. 

Here, it's the link of the video. 

Other things that was mesmerized me was the way she ended her speech by talking about her own experience in which we all could relate on some point of our life : 

Felt like "we don't belong here."

It was teary and heart-touching story, one of the thing that's (apart from the amazing core speech)  making her got standing applause when she was done talking. 

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Actually, there are many more amazing speeches that I've watched but I can't explained it all to you guys due to character long and time and everything.

But don't worry, I got you the lists. 

Want to sound like a leader? Start by saying your name right | Laura Sicola 

Simon Sinek: How great leaders inspire action
What your speaking style, like, says about you | Vera Regan | TEDxDublin

Julian Treasure: How to speak so that people want to listen

Anyway. Welcome to TEDx!
And good luck making your dreams come true. 

Let's Talk About Indonesia!

I am a girl living in a small town, small country. 

Well, actually. My country's one of the biggest country if you see it from the population aspect (Indonesia, number 4th after China, India and United States).

But if you try to see it from every other angle and aspect, you'll get the impression that our country's really struggling with basically everything. Every aspect of our life.

Well, let me just be honest with you now. 

I love my country very very much. We've got so many brilliant people here. (read this story from our Canada friend)

The problem is, there are so many bad people too, and these bad peoples are the one that we need to get rid of, if we want to make it to one of the greatest country in the world. 

If we really wants to compete with such mighty and powerful country like United States. 

It is not impossible, of course. Considering that we've got more than enough resources. (gold, silver, gas, oil, forest, you name it. We got it all.)

The only problem that we've got now is the mentality of the people living here. 

Laziness and lack of caring is basically the characteristic of our people. We tend to not caring about our environment, other people's misery, etc. Well, basically, we are no longer care about things that has relevance to our own country, except if that thing could influence ourself.

Other than that?

We don't care.

And this - this mentality thing - is the basic thing that we have to build from now on, if we really wants to make Indonesia to be a country that is not falling behind. 

Disciplines, dedicated, strong, always think positive thinking, are the traits of successful people. 

Unfortunately, not everyone understand the very important purpose of adopting these positive characteristics. 

I have a big, big dreams toward Indonesia. 

I wanna make people in Indonesia to be more active, brave, open-minded and of course, diligent. 

If the people in Indonesia are realizing that each one of them has the power to make changes, that if every single one of them is very essential to our transformation to the better future, I am a hundred percent sure that Indonesia will be a very successful country, compared to every other country in the world. 

Because we've got plenty of resources.

We've got nice people with nice religion.

And we've got so many nice, basic, rules that will make such harmony in our life.

The characteristic that we need to get rid of in order to build up Indonesia to be one of the best country in the worlds are :

- Laziness

- Careless

- Passive

- Coward

Yes, basically all of that negative traits. 

That makes Indonesia's broke in every kind of aspects. 

Corruption. Hell corruption is everywhere here in Indonesia.

Criminality. There are so much unemployed person and homeless guy that are not willing to work harder, making them having such bad attitudes and then stealing, robbing, and so on.

backwardness. Somehow, we don't really care about education here in Indonesia. Sure, sure. we've got that 9 years study obligation rules. But the education system's not working good.

The student here tend to chasing around the grades, and not the knowledge. 

This makes them willing to anything in order to get good grade, including cheating. 

And yes, that leads to corruption when the student's a little bigger and be a grown up. 

This is such a wrong personality and we need to fixed it as soon as possible, if we really want to make Indonesia better.

I have a fantasy that if somehow, Indonesia could adopt the education system in South Korea, Japan, Finland, etc, and taking the very positive side of each system, and then bundle it as one new system.

I am a hundred percent sure that our education system will be far more better and will cause the new generation to be one of the best generations in the world.

Adversity and ways to overcome it.

Every single people in the world has feel it. There is no way to prevent ourselves from experiencing adversity. Not even the most positive person in the whole planet. 

Let me tell you my experience. 

It was months ago after my 'awakening' moment (read Awakening, Raising, Eye-opening experience. You name it.) and I was started as a person who is highly motivated and thinking positive thought all the time. 

It was confusing at first, because when you learn without any mentor at all, you tend to be over analyze everything and take your actions to the extreme. That was what I did. 

I was, as I said, taking my actions to the extreme and trying to think positive thought every. single. second. 

Because I thought that was the right thing to do. 

Because I thought that was the thing that will help me achieve success. 

To think positive about everyone around me. To say yes upon everyone's request.

And of course, that was not right.

It was stupid because I was used by so many people in many occasions. I was then renowned as a pushover, the one people who is weak and can't even stand for herself. The one person who will say yes to everyone's requests, no matter what is the conditions and even if that was damaging me, my time, and even  money. 

If there is any advice that I could give to you guys out there is this : 

Be balance. NEVER take ANYTHING to the extreme. 

Because one of the most essential thing about life is apparently to be balanced and trying hard to balancing every kind of aspects in our entire life. 

Anyway.

I was, shortly, realizing my mistakes and trying to be positive while still holding up to the fact. 

Trying to be more confident while still balancing up my assertive and compassionate side toward another people.

It was because of the adversity that I was facing. It was one of my wake up moment too, realizing that, even when we are acting like the best and kindest in the world (while striving our heart hardly to really feeling it), we could still be collided by adversity. 

Times when we were broken down. 

Times when we were feelings like we are on the bottom again. 

And this is how I overcome that adversity that hits me. 

1. Holding up to God. 

Never - NEVER - forget that God exist and being there for a reason. He guided human being and decided whether or not we are proper and suitable to be released from our adversity. 

It was weeks of prayer and cried. Begging God to rid myself out of the self-doubt and fear. 

I fear that I'm doubting my own goal.

I fear that I will go back as a person with no dream and determination. 

I fear that I will give up. 

It was not a fuzzy warm feeling. It was, yes. Horrible.

But Praying to God and surrender everything to Him was the only choice I have.

I could only ask for strength, and grateful for the opportunity to cleanse my sins.

And Alhamdulillah, weeks later, God decided that it is the time for me to wake up and it (my huge adversity) was gone. just like that. Yes it's amazing how God arrange things in life.

2. Adjusting my perspectives.

All of the stress that comes from not being able to finishing my tasks. 

All of that pressure feelings.

All of that fear of people's opinions. 

I was writing them down and think about this :

What is the worst thing that could happen?

Well, it doesn't turned out to be so scary when I wrote down the worst case scenario. It was, in fact, helpful. Because I could find out the worst thing and, once I think about it, it was not so scary anymore.

The other thing that I did was I'm not focusing on the past when my adversity kicked in. I was focusing on the future. How could I handle the future if I'm always stuck on the same pattern, same miserable routine?

Focusing on the positivity and the future will definitely help. 

Trust me. 

3. Take actions.

setting realistic goals.

create visual representations of goals.

have plan B.

refuse to quit. 

That was the actions I got from WikiHow and it was wonderful. So true and inspiring. 

You should planning the goals that you would want to achieve and be disciplines to stick to the routines. It will be hard at first, but, like any other habits, it will be very easy to do once you make it usual routines of yours.

Set aside your time every Sunday evening to write a journal plans of what will you do the next week and be very disciplines with this habits.